If you dread seeing pleas for online reviews from your author-friends, you are not alone. Me? I get performance anxiety.  Composing a Real Book Review is hard mental work and time consuming.*Ordering lunch is easy. So I came up with a system. Think of your review as a deli meal. Yes, folks, it's time for "Build Your Own Book Review!"Sandwich. Sides. Drink. Make a few choices, and it writes itself. Bread: all reviews come with stars. Choose 1-5. Don’t worry about hurting feelings. Seriously. The raw number of reviews carries far more weight with the Almighty Search Algorithms than whether they're positive or negative. That said, 5 stars is the white bread of the review world. Just saying.Fillings. Pick one or more from as many categories as you want.

This book is

• ______ well worth reading
• ______ suspenseful  & fun
• ______ a real thriller
• ______ warm & inspiring
• ______ entertaining
• ______ on my best-of list
• ______ fun but nothing special
• ______ totally skippable
• ______ A bore from beginning to end

The plot

• ______ was twisty and full of surprises
• ______ kept me turning pages
• ______ made me think
• ______ was brilliant
• ______ didn’t really move me
• ______ confused me in places
• ______ started well but got boring
• ______ goes nowhere fast

The world-building/main idea

• ______ blew my mind
• ______ was amazing and original
• ______ was well thought-out
• ______ felt tired and predictable

The characters

• ______ were flawed and human
• ______ were relatable
• ______ felt real
• ______ really got to me
• ______ acted like real heroes
• ______ never stopped complaining
• ______ were full of themselves
• ______ seemed like tired stereotypes

The dialogue

• ______ sounded real
• ______ had lots of good jokes
• ______ moved the story along
• ______ was stilted and fake
• ______ sounded like speeches
• ______ used too many big words

Side orders: not required, but extras add a little pizazz to your review

• My favorite character/moment/scene _____________­­­­­­­­­_______
• The best thing about the book was _____________­­­­­­­­­_______
• I really liked_____________­­­­­­­­­_______

Drink. A little statement to pull the whole review together.

• Give this book a try, you won’t be disappointed.
• Recommended for/as/to________________________
• This is a must-read
• If you like ______________ then you should check this out
• Skip this one if you value your brain cells.
• Only recommend it to your enemies.

Take a look at these popular combos:House Special:  5 stars! This book is on my best-of the year list. The plot was twisty, the world-building blew my mind, and the characters really got to me. My favorite scene involved a teddy bear and a glue stick, and that’s all I’m saying. If you like funny books full of crazy jokes, snappy dialogue and cute animals, take a look.The Snark: 2 stars. Skip this book. The world-building is mind-blowing, but the characters spend the whole book complaining and the plot goes nowhere fast. Recommended as an insomnia cure.Short, Sweet & Simple: 4 stars. I liked this book. The plot kept me turning pages, and the characters felt real. Give it a try.Now, if you you feel like this is cheating somehow because it's easy, YOU ARE SO WRONG. Trust me on this. I recommended books for a living for nearly two decades. Sales reviews are about bearing witness. Standing up to be counted.  Very few readers go to Amazon or B&N looking for a deeply-pondered journal-style literary critique. They want to know, "Did someone else like this book? Y/N and why."Be kind to yourself. Give your favorite authors a huge boost. Go deli style.  And if you want to practice, I have a bunch of book listings pining away for reviews right here behind this link: author.to/kmherkes.

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 *No, really. Reviews are hard. That's the reason Goodreads lets all members assign star ratings without writing words at all. (My books are listed there, too. Hint. Hint.)